The Cock Crowed: Following Simon Peter to Gain Hope

By Sr. Petra Paula

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Laetare Sunday, the fourth Sunday of Lent, reminds us that we are close to the end of this season of repentance and it’s a good time to reflect on our progress.  How have we done?  Have we fasted, prayed and given alms?  Have we kept our promises to ourselves to get closer to the Lord? Usually, at this point, I am very disappointed in myself because I’ve never been as good as I had hoped I would be.  No matter how poorly I’ve done, I have two more weeks to give it an extra push, especially during Holy Week.
 
That is a time when I think a lot about St. Peter.  He has always given me hope because he messed up so much and yet Jesus loved and trusted him enough to put him in charge of beginning His Church.  We first meet him when Jesus calls him and his brother Andrew and the Zebedee brothers James and John to come follow Him.  The four of them left their boats and families and did just that.  Peter, James and John grew very close to the Lord over the next three years and were especially chosen for several experiences, from the Transfiguration (Mk 9:1-9) to praying with Jesus a little apart on the Mount of Olives—with a special admonition to Simon Peter for falling asleep “Could you not watch one hour?  Watch and pray that you may not enter into temptation.  The spirit indeed is willing but the flesh is weak” (Mk 14:32-40).
 
Throughout the Gospels, Simon Peter was impetuous and full of doubt:  After the miracle feeding the 5000 men, Jesus had gone to pray alone while the apostles put out to sea.  The wind was strong and was against them, but during the fourth watch (3-6am), they saw Jesus walking across the water toward them and they were afraid even after they realized Who it was.  When Jesus said, “Come,” Peter jumped into and walked on the water because of his childlike faith, but when the wind rose and he doubted, he began to sink.  “Save me, Lord!”  Jesus reached out His hand and pulled him to safety and once they were both back in the boat, He asked why they had doubted, “Oh ye of little faith” (Mt 14:29-31).
 
Peter was an uneducated, very simple fisherman, though he was inspired to know that Jesus was “the Christ, the Son of the living God.”  Jesus noted that the Father had opened Peter’s heart to this truth and that from this point he would be “Peter and upon this Rock, I will build My Church and the gates of hell will not prevail against it” (Mt 16:16-18).  Peter walked and talked and ate and drank with Jesus and even hosted Him in his home; he watched Him perform all kinds of miracles, from feeding thousands to curing blindness and leprosy to driving out demons to raising a little girl from the dead.  Yet, even after all this, Peter did not always understand how Jesus’s mind worked.  In his humanity, Peter worried about what others would think when he said to Jesus to stop telling people He had to suffer and die:  Lord, it’s not good press.  Jesus replied “Get thee behind me, Satan; you are a stumbling block to me.”  Jesus was following His Father’s will, not trying to impress people (Mt 16:22, 23).
 
And finally for me, Peter’s worst deed and his connection with Lent:  He was a coward and a liar.  At Gethsemane, just before the above admonition, Jesus had warned Peter that he would deny Him, but Peter said “not me, Lord, I would die first!” (Mt 26:33-35).  This story is recounted in all four gospels; each is a little different, but Jesus predicted that Peter would deny Him, and he did.  Remember, Peter had been the one to say to Jesus “We have come to believe and know that You are the Holy One of God” [Jn 6:69], but he still denied Him!  Fear can make us weak and so the third time he was asked about being a friend of Jesus, Peter said angrily with cursing “No, I do not know the Man!”  The cock crowed; Jesus turned and looked at him.  The cock crowed:  Imagine the gut-wrenching horror that passed through Peter’s mind at that moment as his jaw dropped:  What have I done?  The cock crowed.  Yet, that may have been the beginning of the change in his heart, because Peter came to himself.  Realizing what he had done, he went out and wept bitterly (Lk 22:55-62).
 
What was the expression in Jesus’s eyes when He looked at Peter?  They were probably filled with sorrow, but were they not also filled with love and understanding?  Think of the father of the prodigal son:  That son had insulted him and gone away, but the father continuously looked out for him, hoping against hope, and when he saw him from afar, the father ran to meet him!  Peter did love the Lord greatly and after His Resurrection, when Jesus asked, Peter told Him so—three times:  “Lord, You know I love You.”  That was when Jesus responded, “Feed my sheep,” conferring primacy upon him.  Thus Peter—this flawed, weak, imperfect sinner—was chosen to be the foundation upon which Jesus would build His Church (Jn 21:15-17).  At Pentecost, all the Apostles were filled with the fire of the Holy Spirit, and Peter began to exercise his position.  He became quite eloquent so that through his preaching that day, thousands were baptized (Acts 2:14-41).  Later, he spent time in Rome and Antioch and was back in Jerusalem for the first Council. Eventually, as we know, Peter was crucified upside down on Vatican Hill where his bones now lie beneath the high altar of his basilica.
 
After the Resurrection and Jesus’s command, then the Ascension and Pentecost, Peter received the strength to lead this infant Church.  Did he become perfect?  No, but he was perhaps better able to use those gifts of the Holy Spirit as the rock, the foundation for us all.  He understood better what Jesus’s life, passion and rising were all about.  We can re-live the death and resurrection of Jesus every day we attend Mass and we can pray to the Holy Spirit to renew the fire of His love that we received when we were confirmed.  These will give us the strength to follow Jesus and to spread His word.  Like Peter, we are flawed human beings, but we know we are loved by the Lord no matter what.  He watches for us always and if only we will turn to Him, He will run to us with outstretched arms.  What greater hope is there than this?

Image of St. Peter, St. Peter's Basilica, Rome, Italy  (artist unknown)
 

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