Talking to Jesus And Mary As Friends

Composed by: Sr. Catalina Rosa

My reflection that was posted on our blog last month (http://joyofthejust.weebly.com/blog/time-for-prayer-in-a-busy-life) is an updated version of my answer of this question from my months of postulancy formation for the Lay Fraternities of St. Dominic:

As contemplatives in an active world, we try to "pray always." How do you set time aside strictly for prayer? Is it enough? What can you do to improve?

I just re-read my reflection from last month that answers the question above.

The reflection is still applicable.

It's also still a mere overview of my prayer life.

I find the most interesting aspect of my daily prayer to be this aspect:

I've recently started to take seriously the need to have a friendship with God, and with the Blessed Virgin, too! So, throughout the day, I tell Jesus and Mary what I think and feel--just as I do with my close friends.


I'm a "Millenial" and a "cradle Catholic." Despite stereotypes of my generation, I had grown up with a formal education of the Catholic faith. One of the earliest conversations I recall having with one of my grandfathers was this:

"Do you know the words of the Gloria?"

"No."

"You should know it. I want you to know it by heart before our next conversation."

"OK."

I was seven or eight years old at the time.

Like the dutiful girl I was, I obeyed quickly. I wanted my grandfather to be pleased with me! I linked perfect knowledge of the catechism, of canon law, of the liturgical calendar, and of traditional Catholic prayers with affirmation by the major adults in my life. Such was my understanding of my education of the Catholic faith.

I know now that God can make good out of anything, so I don't regret the good that has come from my early years. Just like various habits that had been drilled to me over the course of several years starting a young age--balletic posture, playing the piano, writing in cursive--I'm grateful that I've learned what I did about the Catholic faith when I was young enough to absorb knowledge much faster than I do now. (On a side note, I'm also now tickled pink that my childhood parish's pastor quoted the Baltimore Catechism as often as he did, now that I'm living in Baltimore and have visited frequently the Baltimore Basilica here [where said catechism was written]!)

What was lacking, though, was an understanding of a personal relationship with God, and that proved to be detrimental in my early adult years; however, the story of my struggles with and reversion to the Catholic faith is one for another time.

Conversing with Jesus and Mary, therefore, has become the "most interesting" aspect of my prayer life, because it's the newest practice I've adopted.

Getting into the habit of having that conversation has been an amusing journey over the last, oh, two years or so.

Initially, many attempts at such a conversation started like this:

"Hi, Jesus. I haven't talked to you in a while. I'm sorry. Uh... uh... uh... SO LET ME RAMBLE ABOUT MY DAY IT WENT LIKE THIS AND LET'S HAVE A STREAM OF CONSCIOUSNESS AND WHY AM I THINKING ABOUT KITTENS NOW? Oh, my God. I'm allergic to cats. And did I just think, 'Oh, my God' when talking to God? Oh, God. ARGH. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Ack."

Then I would be self-conscious of my awkwardness, revert to a daily routine of formal prayers, procrastinate on my next conversation with Jesus for a while, attempt to converse with Him again, find that I was less clumsy but still clumsy (eek!), and repeat the cycle.

My initial attempts to talk to Mary were easier. She's a woman! I am, too. However, my initial attempts at conversation with her were mostly limited to questions such as this:

"Mary, I'm in my late 20s, and by this point in your life, you had been the Mother of God for a while, and you lost Jesus in Jerusalem but managed not to explode when you found Him. I find that I can become cranky over little things. Can you please help me with my patience?"

I'll admit that I've used clumsier wording and more specific examples of what makes me cranky--especially once a month--than the paragraph I had written above.

These initial conversation attempts were better than no attempt at all, but they were inhibited by nervousness and a fear of messing up. Oh, and I was overly conscious of the fact I was talking to the Son of God and to the Mother of God, both of whom were humans who never sinned, so who was I to whine to them?

When I realized that I tended to have less difficulty "going with the flow" when talking with strangers--especially when I had to be pleasant to strangers in the context of work-related interactions--I was mortified, and found myself uttering this simple prayer:

"Jesus and Mary, I want to converse with you. I'm having a hard time doing so. Please help me."

Then, I found myself in a period when even my closest friends were going through trials in their lives that I was keeping my deepest internal struggles to myself and to conversations with my spiritual director. However, I knew I needed to do more in order to avoid bottling up my feelings, which (I've learned the hard way) is also not an appropriate way to handle problems.

My initial reflex: Play the piano. Play a lot of piano. Play, play, play the piano.

It helped. It did! However, I'll need to save my thoughts on music as prayer for another time.

It was after one evening of playing piano that I found myself not quite ready to fall asleep, but I wanted to talk. I was happy about the music I had just played, and wanted to "geek out" about it. My roommates were already asleep, and I had already texted and called my friends quite a bit that day.

So, I chose to gush to Jesus about it. Yes, gush.

I was pleasantly surprised by how easy it was!

Gradually, I found myself finding it easier to talk to Him and to Mary about little things that I enjoyed, that I despised, that I saw, that I smelled, that I tasted, that I felt, that I heard.

I still feel, at times, self-conscious during my conversations with Jesus and Mary. Earlier today, in fact, this happened:

"Hi, Jesus. It's me. Oh, gosh, I'm getting reminded of that Adele song 'Hello.' Aaaaand I feel myself clamming up. Can I blame a lack of sleep? No, you went through the Agony in the Garden. Anyway, HI! Thanks for letting me see another day. I have this song stuck in my head that I heard in a dance class last night. It's about Zeus, and I know he's a false god, but I sure hope you don't mind that I like it. It has a nice melody! Maybe I'll try to come up with better lyrics. I dunno. I'm too tired to think that much right now. Now that Adele song is stuck in my head, too. That's not irreverent, is it? I really do need some coffee. Sorry."

Ha!

We all mess up. Fortunately, God is a God of mercy, and Mary is as sweet as she is.

I'll end this post with this line from Psalm 124 that Dominicans often pray to close a meeting:

"Our help is in the name of the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth."


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