My List had to Change

What is your LIST like‒your priorities of what to do daily?  What are your goals?






​Contemplation of self during the pandemic ​
I like so many have been confined during this current global health situation.  I believe that we, as Catholics, as Christians, have been given the great opportunity to contemplate our goals and priorities which we hold of great value.  I would challenge myself and those of you who may  read this to join me in this very personal self-evaluation in our relationship with the Most High. 
 
I thought I was devoted; I thought I was close to God, the Holy Trinity, Our most Beloved Mother.  I learned I was not what I could be or should be.  My list had to change.  I have had the wrong list for a very long time.  I spent most of my life growing my career, getting the things that would make life convenient, comfortable.  I was absorbed in “the world,” allowing myself to be influenced by all its vanities, the whole time thinking I was a “good” Christian.  My list was so wrong.  My independent status suddenly liquefied, running through open hands leaving them empty.  I was in a strange place like so many others.  I was not in control— something I was not used to.  I always had my day planned, my routine established.

The loss of jobs, two in six months and prior to that health issues filled the stress on my plate.  I do not compare this to any other’s suffering but the afflictions were something that changed my list.  Then this coronavirus, which made life change abruptly for all, changed everything; I had to learn and accept that I was not in control.  My list had to change.
  
The pandemic hit and the attempt to find a job froze.  I had to ask for help as so many did from the government—never in my wildest dreams would I have ever filed for unemployment.  I understood my qualifications and spirited energy could not help me move forward even before the fall of the economy.  My pride which was and still needs to be washed with humility,  seemed to be so many streaks on the glass.  My list was wrong.


Did I put God first in all things as I reflect on my day?  I did not look at my list and ask, is this item (agenda, material acquisition, outfit, reading, video, gathering) for the glory of God... or me?  Was I even thinking of my relationship to Him after my morning prayer beginning my worldly rituals?  I would say yes periodically.  I assured the time for prayer and study but was that only to fulfill my list or to grow my relationship?

Now this does not mean we cannot have earthly pleasure or things; what I refer to is the question of  relevance to our relationship with God.  What became important to me changed.  I found out who my neighbor was.  
I am so thankful for the intimacy of friendship, family, and prayer time more than ever.  I feel very protective of my prayer time and study time with God.  If I am blessed with another job, I pray not to fall into the old pattern of my life.  I thought what I was doing, becoming, was enough.  I am wrong, it’s not enough.  God is enough.  My day must be sorted with the two commandments He said. 
 
Our founder St. Dominic carried and memorized the Gospel of Matthew as well as the letters of St. Paul.  Read Matthew with new eyes.  Change your list or at least what’s on the top of the list.
I wonder, where would we be in the world if we placed these two commandments first each and every day.  Would any of what has happened in the past few months, the virus, the riots, the sins against man, the sins against God, put us where we are today?  Our list has to change.

The Lord Our God, The Lord is One; Thou shalt love thy Lord, thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind," before also referring to a second commandment, "And the second is like unto it, thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself" (Matthew 22:35-40).

---